The Shangri-La’s got it right when they sang their teen-angst anthem “Leader of the Pack.”

He was a bad boy, the leader of a pack of hooligans, but he had a heart of gold and loved the good girl. Of course, he died, and now she will love him forever.

Sigh.

What is it about the consummate bad boy that sets so many hearts aflutter?

Having experience with bad boys, I have a few ideas.

I think that we as women always want/hope to be the one who ‘changes’ him.  He is sweet, loving, says all the right things…..as long as you are alone. So what if when you are out with his crew or your friends he lacks manners, or uses terrible language, or sits sullenly…or whatever he does that doesn’t fit into mainstream ideas of interaction.

YOU and YOU ALONE know that beneath that tough demeanor beats the heart of a lover, a poet, a secret romantic….

(a player.) (but we keep that thought in hidden brackets, and try hard not to think about it)

Or maybe its just that as a ‘good girl’, the chance to walk on the wild side is too tempting to pass up. He is so different than your “standard” man…he takes risks, he lives on the edge.  Enough to give you shivers, isn’t it? (anyone remember the movie Cry Baby?)

Of course, there is the darker side to our bad boy.

Sometimes we pick one who is really bad. Whoops. Suddenly you are involved with someone who smooth talks you into believing what you know is not true….to deterious end. And you end up in a tangled relationship with someone in serious trouble, or you end up in trouble yourself. (remember this movie?)

Of course, maybe that’s the draw. The scent of danger, the excitement of the edge.

Why do so many of us still lust over the bad boy? I personally had my fill of them and married a nice, upstanding good man. Sure, our life has fewer risks, fewer edges….but there is a huge security in knowing to my soul he is truthful and honest and true to me.

And that heart of gold is true gold, and not the fool’s gold of my past bad boys. 

So what about you? Do you still have the craving for the bad boy? What experiences have you had? Why do you think that the bad-boy has such hold on women?